It's almost two in the morning now, and here I am blogging about my random thoughts. It would usually be pitch black outside at this time, but tonight there's just something about the moon that makes it shine in such a lovely and intriguing way. From my window, I can see the airplane gliding across the night sky, how I wish I could just jump right in and feel the excitement and thrill to go to another country. I love how it's so quiet and peaceful at night. 

I genuinely wish that my friends stayed nearby so that they can come over late at night and we can just all have fun together and also talk just about anything. I mean who doesn't love having intellectual talks with someone who understands what you're going through?

I have this strong desire to leave this country and dive right into the unknown. I want to escape from life, my daily routine but most of all? The usual expectation. I really want to travel the world and find new things about myself, meet new people and broaden my horizons. The desires of the mind. I want to fulfill them all. I want to escape. But I can't really put a finger on to what I'd like to run away from. Responsibilities? O levels? Growing up? I don't know. But all I really want is to go and experience the world without a barrier. 

I just got back from Marina Bay Sands because I had went to watch Phantom Of The Opera again. It was beyond lovely really and needless to say, I was completely astounded, even though that was not my first time watching it. I was completely blown away again because it was really really that good but also the whole time I was wishing I was back at either New York. And Christine and the phantom, as dazzling and enchanting as always. The music's really stuck in my head. The Phaaaaaantom Of The Opera is there insiiide my miiind~ 

Today was the release of my GCE O Level Malay results. I....got a C6. Truth be told, I'm actually quite contented with my results considering the fact that my Malay is bad but also at the same time I'm not proud of my results at all. Malay has never been my niche and I don't think it ever will. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I hate the subject. I find it so...hard. Goodness gracious I'm such a sad excuse for a Malay. 

But after a few minutes after getting my results....I cried. Not because it was bad but because I felt that I've disappointed my teachers. I think among all the teachers in school, my Malay teachers know and understand me best, especially Ms Marina because she's been with me for five years straight. And to know that I got a flipping C6 after all those years just evoked that heart-wrenching feeling. To be honest too, I tried. I really tried. But I guess it wasn't enough. Trying is not enough. I really need to work my ass off. 

I really don't want to go through the failure feeling again. Ugh. It's always been like this. I'd always have a rather good day but when I'm all alone under my quilt I just feel the ocean of sadness engulfing me whole. It's so burdensome and pain-inducing. It just goes to show how cruel the monsters of the night can be. Well, I'm a human. I get sad like everyone else. But I'm a genuinely happy and jovial person. At least that's what I'd like to think about myself. I want to be happy and enjoy the perks of life, if that makes sense. After all, our never-ending mission in life is not to succumb to despair but to fight it by finding a remedy for the emptiness of existence. 

It's 9AM in the morning now and I'm watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 2). I think it's like millionth time watching this but who cares. I love it. I read the book series a couple of years ago and it's really the best book series ever, it's entirely transfixing. I literally cannot comprehend the phenomenal work done by JK Rowling and I am not ashamed to admit that I cried once I finished the book and after I watched the movie. 

"After all this time?" "Always" 

To be honest, it wasn't my fav book in the series because some chapters were quite boring but all my questions were finally answered and  the end was ridiculously fantastic. And I think this book series has the greatest twist ever, hands down. I grew up reading and watching Harry Potter and it felt as though I've grown with these characters, went through every adventure with them and now that it's over, I feel so empty. Lovely lovely book and movie indeed. Thank you JK Rowling for making me have an amazing child and teenhood. 

I can't wait to have a reading and movie marathon after my O levels! I've planned to watch the X-Men series, the Dark Knight trilogy, reread The Fault In Our Stars, the Harry Potter Saga, the Twilight Saga. And I've bought new books too!!! Perfume by Patrick Süskind, Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. Also Akeela and I recently just splurged at Times and bought for ourselves the Beautiful Creatures saga by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. I really can't wait to read it but I'll be waiting after Os. I also just finished Sarah Dessen's The Truth About Forever. I'm a sucker for chic lit so needless to say, I enjoyed it. Only that some chapters were needlessly boring but after completing it I couldn't help but smile with a sigh. 

And I just saw my old blog and I couldn't help but cringe. I mean just look at that: