Hi I am Syaza Nazeirah, a twenty year old girl spending my waking hours studying a hybrid of business and engineering and simply just living.

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Previous Items How far we've come I've died a million deaths Story of my life Humanity Late night and morning thoughts I like that I do not like Thursdays A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor This is life, hold on tight Twisted - Archives - December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 September 2012 November 2012 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 November 2013 December 2013 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 July 2014 August 2014 November 2014 February 2015 June 2015 July 2015 January 2016 Current Posts

My current favourites as of now:
Book: The Divergent trilogy // Veronica Roth
Music: Awkward & Beach // San Cisco
TV Series: Teen Wolf
Food: Spaghetti (self-explanatory)
Drink: Arizona Green Tea

Hello lovely human beings,

My Ferragamo days are over. I decided to quit as I just thought that I needed a break to catch up on my books and most importantly, on sleep. I then started reading my Divergent book which I had my bookshelf since forever...and the next think I know, I was hooked. So as expected, my next few days consisted mostly of sleepless nights and endless cups of tea, which of course is utterly and significantly pivotal if you are a reader like me. I completed Divergent and Insurgent in three days and I'm now on Allegiant, which, I have been reading for days..and now I have somehow put it to a halt. I know I know *guilty as charged*. It's not because it's boring. Well, okay it's a little slow-paced but the reason why I put it to a pause for the time being is because I've spending way too much time on my new found love - Teen Wolf!


It has three seasons in total, and I am still at the first season. I cannot even begin to comprehend how amazing it is! And Jackson...oh sweet Lord Jackson. (real life name Colton Haynes). It is beyond amazing and it never ceases to unleash my inner fangirl whenever Jackson comes on screen and leave me wanting to click "next episode".
So recently, life's been a ferris wheel. Alright, that's quite a terrible analogy but truth be told, my mind's been a total mess since I've left school. Everything's been quite disorienting. I never thought I would say this but it's truly hard to get on with life with a broken social circle, well if that made any sense. I miss my friends. I miss how everything used to fall in place so nicely. How we all shared jokes and food and stressed over exams. Now, it's all dead and gone. And it hurts, quite frankly.

I am completely aware that different people have different desires, wants and point of views. And often, when there are such conflicting perspectives, fights and disagreements are bound to occur as one's expectation's might not be met. This sounds a little like history, doesn't it? How communism and capitalism can never get along because both have a mindset in which they are more superior than the other and thus feel that they deserve better and feel things that should go their way. In addition, when this happens, it will cause them to be and feel segregated. There is no chance for them to get to know about each other and to settle things once and for all. And if there's one thing I learn about at my own home, it's that you can be the sweetest and juiciest strawberry in the world but there will still be someone out there who will despise strawberries aka my bro. (10 points for my cool analogy)

That is what's happening currently. Segregation's a massive bitch. And for better or for worse, I do not wish to be stuck in a middle of a crossfire anymore.

I have to admit, I used to harbour a grudge on someone because I just felt that she was taking everything and everyone away from me. I just felt that it was her fault that I am drifting away from some of my friends. One day all of a sudden, the realisation dawned. Many questions started racing through my mind about this feeling of hatred. What benefit will it bring? Nothing. Hatred is pointless. It is absolutely draining. It fills you in with an overwhelming anger which will constantly put you in a horrible mood. Hatred will turn you into a terrible person. My mom also recently brought me to this Islamic lecture. I can't exactly remember what his name is but all I could remember was that he said when such feelings arise, perform the ablution (wudhu). I have been working on removing the negativity from my heart. This dominating feeling of anger, the frustration, the self-loathing, the heartache, the darkness. And it works. And true enough, after I did it, I felt a whole lot better. Like I finally got that constant heavy feeling that weighs my heart down off my chest.