Dreams
(‘O’ level 2006)

 The clear skies were intoxicating with its infinite blue. It was one of those perfect days, a mix of warm and cool, the sun and air sublime in its purest aesthetic. Too ecstatic by the fruitful opportunities that the sky cried, I welcomed its fresh serenity with deep content inhales.

 “How are you feeling today, Ally?” my therapist, Dr Frayn asked.

 “I’m feeling grand” I replied genuinely “never better”

 “That’s good” she replied, “what about your dreams?”

 “It has improved, I have been dreaming about cats and unicorns, mostly happy things”

I then looked at the mirror near me, only to be greeted by the bags under my star studded eyes. But I looked happier now. Happier than I was two years back. I have fought depression for five months now and I am utterly proud of myself. However as I looked at the mirror, even though my smile was wide and jovial, my eyes screamed pain and sadness. It was due to a tragic accident which happened two years ago, an accident which had left me so traumatised and caused me to have many sleepless nights. It happened two years ago, on New Year’s eves.

 I could still remember the thief’s face vividly. Tanned, sly and he had an unshaven moustache. He was not only a thief, he was a murderer. He stole my parent’s money and also their lives, after which, he blatantly vanished and left two immobile corpses that represented the two people I called family. I was there at the scene where the fateful tragedy transpired.

 “NO, ALFIE” I remembered my dad pleading for mercy “you can have my money but you are not going to take my family away from me”

 I was hiding in my room yet my sight was keen enough to see the whole thing clearly. I immediately called the police, who were too slow. Tears started racing down my cheeks live rivulets. I then closed my eyes as I could not bear looking and all I could hear was my dad shouting “NOO” and my mother’s shrieking screams.

 After hearing the door shut close, I raced down to my beloved parents. My heart shattered when I saw my mother unconscious and covered with blood. As I fell to my knees, I held the knife. Its sharp edge has plunged the heart of my mother who had loved me oh so dearly. I have always had a fear with sharp objects; my fear has become a horror fright right before my very eyes.

I then saw my dad’s body at the other corner of the living room. It was the most horrible sight ever. An inch away from me was the evil contraption that had cut my father’s body into halves. I touched the axe; it was dripping with crimson red blood. I used to think of red as something as positive as love and passion. Now, it holds a sad connotation I’ll never forget.

The police, whom I hated so badly for their incompetency came over a few minutes later. I was sent to my Aunt Lucy’s place who soon became my legal guardian. The murderer was captured three days later, and it was later denounced that he will be receiving the death sentence. Justice was not served however, I reckoned. I became so panic-stricken. I was sobbing so hard. Everything happened so quickly that my eyes can be likened to a faucet left open.

How could he? I was indignant. Not only did I lose my parents, I lost my freedom and the justice I deserved to be happy. I spent the rest of my days sulking by the window and that was when I started having dreams. The rest of the year was an endless struggle. It feels like as though you are screaming but no one hears you, and all you could do it sit and mock in disdain, and feel the tears trickling down your cheeks as the crying painfully got louder.

The demonic figure that has been haunting my sub consciousness was constantly looming over my mind and he kept on appearing in my dreams, laughing with an axe in his hand. I was infuriated by dignified rage but sadly I was powerless and overall vulnerable. Aunt Lucy then started sending me to a therapist which I genuinely thought was not effective as I was still experiencing nightmares even after a year.

 Thankfully, after a few years and months, I could finally sleep again. Things got better. The sky had never been so bright. I still pray for my parents every single day and I could feel as though they are always with me whenever I do something. I get nostalgic every night but needless to say, I am happy too. Alas, when the tears dry, what’s left over is emptiness, a hollow feeling that cannot be filled.